For the 14th time in 10 years of marriage, we are moving. Its a bit different this time. There is no lease or rental agreement. There are no property managers (well, us, I guess). Send your Christmas cards to 404 South 2nd Street | CG | 97424. Probably for a long time.
Pack. Tape. Where is the tape? Marker. Boxes, stacking, move, shuffle, organize and throw out and Goodwill. Tired. Current house becomes a building. Decorations down, memories flooding my mind.
I cried. …
Continue ReadingI get to be a dad. I am not a mom. I am a dad.
Yesterday Owen (6) and I went to work on replacing our car battery. I was excited to have “car project” with him. I figured he’d get to unscrew some things or start the car when it was together.
How idealistic was that? The light was waning and the 4 bolts I had to work on weren’t hard to get on and off, but would have been nearly impossible for him to get to. He eagerly watched for a moment. Then he started to wander around the garage while I used pliers to grip a bolt and the wrench to turn the nut.
Then Owen returned and picked up the unattached negative battery cable. (positive was attached to the battery) With one hand, he started to try to find what the cable should affix to.
I saw him doing this and knew it wouldn’t be a big deal. Unless he touched it to the positive terminal… …
Continue Reading“Are the kids ready for school?”
“Jenna! Do you have your shoes on?!”
“Can you pick the kids up?”
“Isaac, can we meet soon?”
“What does tonight look like?”
“Who is texting now?”
“Thanks for making dinner.”
Life flies at us. Life makes it’s presence known constantly. Today is today, but will quickly become yesterday.
Our today will affect our tomorrows and our yesterdays are affecting our todays. So, today is important.
It is really all we have.
The question is, what will we do with what we have today? …
Continue ReadingThrough the movies, TV, internet or the ever-bringing-bad evening News, you’ve probably been forced to think about some of the worst criminals. The ones we call heinous. Their crimes are sick, severe, perverted, gross…unthinkable.
We are repulsed and angered. These people are human, but when we imagine their crimes; when we put ourselves at the scene of the crime or try to picture the brutality, terror and oppression they’ve incurred, we disassociate with them. We call them and their crimes inhuman.
We demand justice. Justice is required and justice should be served! It sounds like Lock ‘em up! Death!
If we could, we’d hit them. Hard. And again…harder.
Justice is rightfully administrated to those who violate the law! A passionate pursuit of making it right, or dishing out punishment for what has happened is right! It is full of right…
A question arises, however…have we looked with the same intensity and emotion into our own hearts?
Jesus was teaching and confounding people left and right. He was saying that it is blessed to be poor, that we should love even our enemies and not just passively so, but actively by giving them more than they’ve taken!
And then he confronts the hollow claim that right actions justify the sinful heart. He says, “So, you haven’t murdered anyone…But have you been hatefully angry inside your heart? Have you ever, even for a second wished ill upon someone? Have you held onto a hurt and allowed bitterness or judgement to fester on the inside? Than you too, although you haven’t killed a person are in danger, for your heart is black!”
It is the claim of the religious that they are better because they haven’t been heinous in action…even if only in fleeting thoughts.
As we, with emotion, with vigor and passion, judge and demand justice for the worst of people…shouldn’t we also (even prior to) judge our own hearts?
Who has satisfied that demand for justice?
Jesus. To him I look, not only wishing he will have mercy upon the heinous, but trusting his justice and mercy for my quiet, black heart.
“But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger…” – Jesus
Continue ReadingIn 2001 I completed the Los Angeles Marathon. At 255 pounds, I had to be one of the biggest participants in the race!It was 2.5 months before the race when I decided to commit to a training regimen and run the marathon. So, I was running a lot around Southern California. And when I started doing long runs that are over 2 hours, I began to question my sanity!
Race day came and 30,000 people started running 26.2 miles. The course was lined with spectators! They were so excited to see so many people willing to slap pavement for a few hours! I noticed that as I came around around a corner, people’s cheering would drop about an octave and their encouragement sounded a bit more serious. Yay! Yay! Go Runners! became Hang in there big guy. We hope you survive.
As I ran I noticed many slim and fit people cheering and not racing. Looking back, it strikes me: I was committed to what I chose to be committed to. Finishing that race had little to do with my abilities and the spectator’s not finishing that race had nothing to do with their abilities and everything to do with their commitments.
And so, I make the observation: We are all committed to what we’ve chosen to commit to. Not one of us is uncommitted, we are fully invested into what we’ve chosen to commit to.
As a friend of mine says, “every system is perfectly designed to get the results its getting.”
What are the results of your life? Are you satisfied? If not, than what are you committed to? How can you choose differently?
Maybe you’ll find yourself lumbering down the boulevards of life experiencing greatness not based upon your abilities, but upon your willingness to choose your commitments.
Continue Reading
For the 14th time in 10 years of marriage, we are moving. Its a bit different this time. There is no lease or rental agreement. There are no property managers (well, us, I guess). Send your Christmas cards to 404 South 2nd Street | CG | 97424. Probably for a long time.
Pack. Tape. Where is the tape? Marker. Boxes, stacking, move, shuffle, organize and throw out and Goodwill. Tired. Current house becomes a building. Decorations down, memories flooding my mind.
I cried. …
Continue Reading
I get to be a dad. I am not a mom. I am a dad.
Yesterday Owen (6) and I went to work on replacing our car battery. I was excited to have “car project” with him. I figured he’d get to unscrew some things or start the car when it was together.
How idealistic was that? The light was waning and the 4 bolts I had to work on weren’t hard to get on and off, but would have been nearly impossible for him to get to. He eagerly watched for a moment. Then he started to wander around the garage while I used pliers to grip a bolt and the wrench to turn the nut.
Then Owen returned and picked up the unattached negative battery cable. (positive was attached to the battery) With one hand, he started to try to find what the cable should affix to.
I saw him doing this and knew it wouldn’t be a big deal. Unless he touched it to the positive terminal… …
Continue Reading
“Are the kids ready for school?”
“Jenna! Do you have your shoes on?!”
“Can you pick the kids up?”
“Isaac, can we meet soon?”
“What does tonight look like?”
“Who is texting now?”
“Thanks for making dinner.”
Life flies at us. Life makes it’s presence known constantly. Today is today, but will quickly become yesterday.
Our today will affect our tomorrows and our yesterdays are affecting our todays. So, today is important.
It is really all we have.
The question is, what will we do with what we have today? …
Continue Reading
Through the movies, TV, internet or the ever-bringing-bad evening News, you’ve probably been forced to think about some of the worst criminals. The ones we call heinous. Their crimes are sick, severe, perverted, gross…unthinkable.
We are repulsed and angered. These people are human, but when we imagine their crimes; when we put ourselves at the scene of the crime or try to picture the brutality, terror and oppression they’ve incurred, we disassociate with them. We call them and their crimes inhuman.
We demand justice. Justice is required and justice should be served! It sounds like Lock ‘em up! Death!
If we could, we’d hit them. Hard. And again…harder.
Justice is rightfully administrated to those who violate the law! A passionate pursuit of making it right, or dishing out punishment for what has happened is right! It is full of right…
A question arises, however…have we looked with the same intensity and emotion into our own hearts?
Jesus was teaching and confounding people left and right. He was saying that it is blessed to be poor, that we should love even our enemies and not just passively so, but actively by giving them more than they’ve taken!
And then he confronts the hollow claim that right actions justify the sinful heart. He says, “So, you haven’t murdered anyone…But have you been hatefully angry inside your heart? Have you ever, even for a second wished ill upon someone? Have you held onto a hurt and allowed bitterness or judgement to fester on the inside? Than you too, although you haven’t killed a person are in danger, for your heart is black!”
It is the claim of the religious that they are better because they haven’t been heinous in action…even if only in fleeting thoughts.
As we, with emotion, with vigor and passion, judge and demand justice for the worst of people…shouldn’t we also (even prior to) judge our own hearts?
Who has satisfied that demand for justice?
Jesus. To him I look, not only wishing he will have mercy upon the heinous, but trusting his justice and mercy for my quiet, black heart.
“But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger…” – Jesus
Continue Reading
In 2001 I completed the Los Angeles Marathon. At 255 pounds, I had to be one of the biggest participants in the race!It was 2.5 months before the race when I decided to commit to a training regimen and run the marathon. So, I was running a lot around Southern California. And when I started doing long runs that are over 2 hours, I began to question my sanity!
Race day came and 30,000 people started running 26.2 miles. The course was lined with spectators! They were so excited to see so many people willing to slap pavement for a few hours! I noticed that as I came around around a corner, people’s cheering would drop about an octave and their encouragement sounded a bit more serious. Yay! Yay! Go Runners! became Hang in there big guy. We hope you survive.
As I ran I noticed many slim and fit people cheering and not racing. Looking back, it strikes me: I was committed to what I chose to be committed to. Finishing that race had little to do with my abilities and the spectator’s not finishing that race had nothing to do with their abilities and everything to do with their commitments.
And so, I make the observation: We are all committed to what we’ve chosen to commit to. Not one of us is uncommitted, we are fully invested into what we’ve chosen to commit to.
As a friend of mine says, “every system is perfectly designed to get the results its getting.”
What are the results of your life? Are you satisfied? If not, than what are you committed to? How can you choose differently?
Maybe you’ll find yourself lumbering down the boulevards of life experiencing greatness not based upon your abilities, but upon your willingness to choose your commitments.
Continue Reading
If life were as smooth as a slide I would never have to face the reality of the hard ground, but would always be sucked down by the unstoppable pull and pace of gravity. The smooth and solid fitting of the slide would keep me and the effort I would most have to express is that of suppressing my squeals of delight.
But, alas, the journey of life is better compared to the gritty undertaking of summiting a hill of blacktop that reflects sun in such a way as to require sweat bands and carried water. Lugging and straining I go.
And, today, I find peace and grace on my way. I choose to accept that life does not owe me a comfortable way, but rather, that I owe life my best effort regardless of my emotional experience in the midst of it.
God, make me more gritty and determined. I ask.
Continue Reading
Easter is coming….
At the time of Jesus’ life, when he had so few followers at the end, when he was being unjustly killed, while hanging on the cross, he said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”
In the end it was about forgiveness. …
Continue Reading
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I have stopped believing before. Life seemed to be against me…God seemed to be against me and in those vulnerable moments, I have stopped believing (or having faith) that God has good in store for me. But, then, in a flurry of recognition, …
Continue Reading